This one time we left our dogs at this awesome doggy resort and spa in the boonies by Calaveras Lake (we relatively often leave them there when traveling, I think this was just this Christmas) and they got into a fight and Ada bit another dog and made him bleed.
When we went to pick them up and the lady told us about how they were not good dogs and so on, I was so disappointed and angry that I couldn’t make myself pet them or play with them for days after the fact.
That is how I feel about PHP, having read this thing.
For better languages to take over PHP’s throne at the low end, there HAS to be some sort of readily available Pypache or Rupache or whatever thing that allows beginners to tinker by throwing files on a server and opening them in a browser—without needing to understand the extremely lofty and convoluted concepts behind reverse-proxying to apps and shit.
But maybe all that is needed is some sort of outreach directed at journeyman tinkerers to jump ship and take up one of the other options. From where I am standing right now, I know nothing about Python other than that it has a rigid structure, and I know nothing about Ruby other than that it is a cult that somehow has a programming language built into its dogma.